Anonymity and Versification
by Luna Dreams
Summary: A love letter sends Susan into a panic as she attempts to find the identity of her "Secret Admirer".


_**A/N: **This is my first story, so feedback would be wonderful. Beta'd by my sister WingedFlight. _

* * *

**Anonymity and Versification**

It was a most beautiful day, with the sun shining ever so brightly, the birds singing ever so sweetly, and the air ever so warm. Only one thing could ruin such a glorious day – being stuck indoors with a suitor, who was _ever so_ keen on displaying his intellect by dragging me to the library for the morning. I had spent the entire time thinking longingly of the outdoors, my horse and archery as the suitor read aloud from a dull book on dryad populations.

Peter was settling a dispute between two flirtatious songbirds, while Lucy had disappeared after the noon day meal. (I suspected she had gone exploring with Tumnus again, although I had no confirmation of that). Edmund was chaperoning, a mistake I would be sure never to repeat.

"Say that again," he requested, and the suitor looked up from his book in a rather flustered manner. Obviously he had forgotten Edmund's presence.

"A fifth of the dryad population was lost in the great fire of Talburn," the suitor read.

"The author of that book has its facts wrong," Edmund interjected. "Only one sixth of the population was lost. And I have never understood why the fire was known as the great fire of Talburn. I don't think there even is such a place as Talburn in Narnia."

"Talburn is in Archenland," I explained. "The fire started in Talburn and made its way into Narnia, burning a fifth of the population."

"A sixth," Edmund corrected again.

I suppressed a groan just as a faun entered the room.

"Queen Susan, your sister requests your presence in the upstairs sunroom." The faun Tarus had been sent by Lucy to save me as planned, although this was unknown to the suitor.

I turned to the suitor and thought for a moment, trying to remember his name. "Sir, I am so sorry for this interruption in our ... lovely courting session, but this is most important. I am afraid I must leave" With that I stood up and left, leaving Edmund to walk the suitor to the door.

-

Lucy was sitting at the window waiting for me. "Good afternoon, sister," she said happily. "Is Lord What's-his-name still hopelessly in love?"

"As hopeless as ever," I replied.

Lucy shook her head sadly. "I don't know how you manage to deal with them all. Aslan must have blessed you with patience."

"Heaps of patience," added Edmund from the door. "Here, Su, I noticed this in the Library as you were leaving." Edmund handed me a letter.

I took it gracefully, opened it with my finger nail and took one look at it before I grimaced and the paper fluttered to the ground. "Lucy, please tell me it is not what I think it is."

Lucy picked up the letter and examined it before replying. "It is."

"What does it say?" Edmund was standing there by the door, grinning.

"You read it, Lucy." I was not in the mood to look at the letter again.

"Susan, Sweetheart," Lucy began, "I would like to be with you always. You brighten up my day with your brilliance and your eyes reflect the sun. I hope to see you soon. Your Handsome Secret Admirer."

I felt sick with horror. Suitors were one thing – a secret admirer was worse! Trying to ignore the sour taste in my mouth, I said so to my siblings.

"You'd think it would be better," Edmund commented. "Because then you don't need to see them, or listen to them recite terribly dull love poems about your 'beauty beyond the lot of mortals'."

"Yes," I answered tightly. "But I _do_ need to read endless letters full of the same thing."

"This one seemed pretty short," Lucy injected.

I shot her a glare, wondering if I was the only one able to take the situation seriously. "I like to know what I'm dealing with."

-

Later that night as I was lying in bed, I could not sleep for thinking of the love note. Figuring out who sent it should have been easy, only this was the week of my eighteenth birthday, so guests had been arriving all week. If my numbers were correct, and they usually were, fifty-three possible admirers were in the castle and I had to narrow the list down to one. I rolled over with a groan and was just closing my eyes when I heard a knock on the door.

"I'll be right there," I called as I pulled on a house coat over my night gown and hurried to the door. When I opened it all I saw was my faun guard, Fallon.

"Excuse me, Your Highness"," Fallon looked at something in her hand. "I believe this is for you."

As I took the letter a feeling of dread came over me. "Fallon, who sent this letter?"

Fallon was avoiding my gaze and staring intently at the doorframe behind my shoulder. "I'm afraid I don't know. Flurenda the dryad gave it to me, and she said she'd gotten it from Huric the dwarf, who'd gotten it from Alana the nyad who had found it on a bench by the pond." She paused, "I suspect this is why it shows signs of water damage. I would strongly advise against opening it until you know where it came from-"

"I suspect I already know," I muttered, catching a strong whiff of perfume. "Or at least, to an extent. I believe it is from my secret admirer."

Fallon grinned. "A secret admirer! How exciting!"

I groaned at the sarcasm. "Fallon, please do not tell anyone."

"Yes, your Highness. And remember, you are meeting Sir Cloren early tomorrow morning in the rose garden, so you should get to bed. Good night." Fallon closed the door, leaving me alone with The Letter. There was no sense in delaying; with a sigh I opened the envelope. I skimmed it quickly and with growing horror.

"_My Sweetest Love, Queen Susan_

_I love you. You are the most beautiful person in all of Narnia. I think you are splendid, which is why I wrote a poem just for you, my sweet:_

_Oh my love _

_Sweet as a dove_

_Holding power_

_Gentle as a flower_

_I'll love you today_

_As well as tomorrow_

_And forever after._

_I dearly hope you liked it as I spent hours trying to make it perfect for you. I would love to see you again sometime, my Sweetheart._

_Love from your Secret Admirer Forever" _

I sighed again before putting the letter on my desk and heading back to my bed in a futile attempt to sleep.

-

The next morning I went to the gardens to see Sir Cloren. He was entirety different than the suitor yesterday (who was so dull that I still could not remember his name!) and was notable only for his fondness for chocolate. One time when we were in the library, he had begun to list all the different types of chocolate he knew, which had taken the better part of the day. Only when Peter had interrupted could I escape. But now it seemed I would have to listen to him talk more about his favourite subject.

Today Peter was chaperoning, mainly because he could always intimidate the suitors and Sir Cloren might not talk so much about the one subject I was beginning to despise.

"Queen Susan! And King Peter. I am so glad you could come." Sir Cloren bowed to us both before he took my arm. "Why don't we take a walk around the garden?"

I sighed but agreed and soon found him chatting away about the Archenland chocolate. I noticed that every now and then he glanced at Peter, who was following a little ways behind.

"Sir Cloren," I began, and he looked at me in surprise at my interruption. "Do you like poetry?" My mind was still on the mysterious letter I had received during the night, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. Seeing as the admirer had appeared to like poetry, I thought this was a good place to start.

"Um," was all Sir Cloren began before Peter caught up.

"Poetry? I love poetry! Everything about it is spectacular. Have you ever wondered how poets write poems? It's amazing! But you know what is better than poetry?" Here Peter paused and as I shook my head I heard Sir Cloren mutter, "_Chocolate_."

"Pineapples! I love pineapples! You know, bumpy and yellow on the bottom and green and spiky on top, and in the middle it tastes so good. I love pineapples. What do you like, Sir Cloren?" Peter paused but went on before the suitor could answer. "Ah yes! You like chocolate. Chocolate is good and it tastes absolutely scrumptious with pineapples but I really don't know what some people like about it. You know, it would probably taste so much better if people put pineapple chunks in it. Actually, I made up a poem about that. Do you want to hear?" When I nodded resignedly, he continued.

"Oh. Chocolate's all right on its own,

But you know what's even better?

Chocolate with pineapple!

And it is absolutely divine!"

Both Sir Cloren and I just stood gaping at Peter. That was probably the worst poem I had ever heard. "Peter. That was a very unique poem," was all I managed to say.

"So, Sir Cloren, how did you like it?" Peter asked expectantly. "Do you know what type of poem that was?"

The suitor looked at Peter before answering, "That poem was utter rubbish!" He then turned and walked off.

"Well," Peter shrugged. "That scared him off. Now, who wants breakfast?"

-

When I walked into the dining hall, Edmund and Lucy were still there. They had been talking quietly together but when I entered they broke off their conversation.

"Susan! That was quick. How was Sir Cloren?" Lucy smiled at me.

"It was all right, although Peter did scare him off." I still wasn't sure whether I should be glad he got rid of Sir Cloren or scared at his poetry skills.

Edmund raised his eyebrows. "Scared him off? How did he do that?"

I looked at him in the eye. "He recited a poem."

Peter walked in just in time to catch my words. "It was pretty good too. Want to hear it?"

I groaned but Edmund and Lucy nodded. Peter recited the poem again.

My siblings just stared at him. I noticed a few of the kitchen helpers also gaping at the High King. One of the guards was trying to cover up his laughter with a cough. "Oh," was all Lucy managed to say.

I turned around to face him. "Peter! You need to get some poetry lessons. Go see Jordge the red dwarf and tell him I sent you and why. And until you finish his lessons, don't make any more poems. Understood?"

Peter saluted with a smirk and strolled from the room to visit Cair Paravel's literary expert. With that done, and trying to act as though I hadn't overreacted, I walked towards my seat before stopping with a moan.

"What's wrong, Susan?" Lucy paused at the door and glanced over with a worried expression.

"The letter on my plate. I will meet you in the upstairs sun room after I have a talk with Jordge."

Lucy nodded and left me to have a peaceful breakfast.

-

Jordge's room is next to the library and covered with books. There were books on the floor, books on the chairs, and no matter what I tried, his room was always a mess. I usually tried to avoid it but I needed to talk to Jordge about Peter. The risk of dirtying my skirts, I decided, was worth the gain.

When I entered, I noticed Peter sitting on a chair covered in books. I decided it would be best to ignore him as I called for Jordge. The dwarf popped his head out from behind a bookshelf and wove his way around various obstacles to join me at the door.

"Ah, Queen Susan. Have you come about him?" He pointed to Peter.

"Yes," I replied, feeling as though the entire thing was an overreaction now that I had come. "He needs help with poetry."

Jordge looked from me to Peter with raised eyebrows. "Poetry?"

I sighed. "Yes. He recited one this morning that scared off a suitor and I thought it would be best if he had some help."

Peter looked up. "It was just that once!"

Jordge ignored him. "All right. Peter, let's hear this poem of yours."

Peter recited it to us.

"Well, to be honest I have heard better, much better, but I think you have talent. Come over here and I will get you started." I was surprised. Jordge was the first person who did not look horrified at the poem.

"So you can help him?"

The dwarf looked at me. "Help him? Of course I can. We don't want Narnia to be known for the High King who can't write a poem to save his life. Oh no. We wouldn't want that."

As I left I looked back at Peter and almost felt sorry for him. Then I remembered that while I might have exaggerated a little bit, it was his fault for writing that poem in the first place.

-

Entering the upstairs sunroom I remembered the letter in my pocket. Instead of opening and reading it myself I handed it to Lucy.

"What is this?" Lucy asked as she read it.

"I don't know. I think it is a love note but I haven't read it yet."

Lucy looked at me and then at the note in her hand. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Yes!" I paused for a moment. "No. Oh, I don't know!"

Lucy groaned. "Yes or no, Susan. Just say yes or no."

"Yes." I hoped this one would be better than the other ones.

"Beautiful Queen Susan, I think you are a star from the sky. When you are happy you seem to glow and shine. Everyone around you takes in your beauty. I think you would be wonderful to have with me all our lives and I never want to leave you. You are the light in my life. You are beautiful. I think you are superb. From your Handsome Secret Admirer."

It was unfortunate that Edmund chose to walk into the room at that time. He heard Lucy read the note and could barely contain his laughter.

"What's that, Susan? A note from your one true love?" Edmund scoffed and took a bite out of the apple he was holding.

I glared at him. "No. But it is a note from an incredibly frustrating secret admirer."

"Of course. Do you know who sent the notes yet?"

Looking straight at him, I replied, "Yes, I know who did it. The person who sent the notes was..."

At that moment Peter walked into the room, brandishing a parchment covered in ink. "I wrote a poem for you, Susan, to prove that Jordge has corrected the error of my ways." Without pausing, he read aloud:

"Queen Susan has the most wonderful hair

And beautiful eyes and smiles

I think she still would be pretty

Even if her hair grew out for miles

But luckily that is not true

And her hair is still normal

She is most beautiful and bossy

When she is quite formal."

Lucy laughed at my expression. "You were saying, Susan...?"

"It was... PETER!" I triumphantly finished.

Peter took one look at everyone's expressions – mine victorious as the others stared in shock . "All right, I give up. What did I do?"

Lucy looked at me. "Did he really?"

"Yes. Well, I hope so. Otherwise I'm back to the beginning."

"What did I do?" Peter asked again.

"Hush, Peter! I am trying to figure this out." That's when I noticed Edmund smirking in the corner. "Edmund! Stop that. I am trying to think of how..." I trailed off as I realized my mistake.

"Edmund! It was YOU!"

The accused stopped laughing. "What?"

Peter cut in. "All right. What did Edmund do that I didn't?"

I took a seat and smugly explained, "It was Edmund who gave me the first love letter. He claimed to have found it in the library, but instead he just gave it to me. That's why I hadn't seen it in the library when I was there. As for the one at breakfast, it was easy enough for him to put it on my plate when Lucy wasn't looking."

Lucy was nodding in understanding, while Peter frowned in confusion. "Edmund was writing you love letters?"

"It was a joke," Edmund protested. "Did you not even notice how alarmed Susan has been all day?"

"Ah," Peter murmured in understanding. "So that's why you sent me to Jordge."

I scowled at him before continuing, "As for the letter last night, I suppose you accidently left it behind after being assaulted by that flirtatious nyad, Alana. So, as punishment Edmund, you will help the moles with their digging for the afternoon tomorrow."

Edmund muttered something about mud and a wardrobe, before frowning with a sudden realization. "You got a letter last night? But I only made two!"

A chill crept down my back at the ominous meaning behind this. "You... didn't send that?"

"No."

My thoughts were spinning out of control. _The nyad... water.... perfume... the different closing..._

Edmund interrupted my mental panic with a comment that summed up the very fact I was trying to avoid. "Looks like you really have got a secret admirer!"


End file.
